The Problem with Perfect
“You’re holding too high of standards for your team.”
WTF does that mean, the 20-something, A-student, new manager version of me thought (and nearly said) in response to my boss at the time. I was proud of my high standards and was not about to let them go to be well-liked by my colleagues. The work was too important.
15 years, and a lot has changed. I can now see the destructive impact that my perfectionist tendencies have on myself and others:
Perfectionism allows little room for failure and stifles experimentation and innovation
Perfectionism creates a performative culture, where not knowing or needing help is seen as weak
Perfectionism prevents us from sharing power and leadership with others
Perfectionism leads to time spent on frivolous details at the expense of real progress
Perfectionism is not a commitment to high standards – it is a trap that leads to reduced performance and unhealthy culture. And it is a hallmark feature of White Supremacy Culture that needs to be dismantled in all of us who are committed to anti-racist leadership.
If perfectionism is a theme you’re consistently working with in your leadership, you want to get on the waitlist for our Group Coaching Program that launches this summer!
“Unlearning perfectionism is at the heart of anti-racist leadership.”
But if you’re a recovering perfectionist like me, you know it’s not as easy as just “letting it go.” Here’s what I do instead…
Find focus
Where does perfectionism have her claws in your right now? Where do you notice yourself trying to get it just right or meet exceptionally high standards? Or perhaps you’re holding perfectionism over someone else by micro-managing their work, judging their mistakes, or constantly declaring with exasperation, “ugh, I’ll just do it myself!” Land on one area of work or one relationship that you will target with your anti-perfectionism practice. Got it? OK, let’s go!
See her in action
As you’re engaging in your target work or relationship, watch as your perfectionist tendency kicks in. Get curious – what’s it like? For me, perfectionism is like an endless loop. Re-do, re-write, re-rehearse, re-think – all the “re”s – until it’s just perfect! For you it might be more like a stage performance, a tight rope walk, or a grasping for control. Next time your perfectionism takes over, find a description or metaphor that captures how she operates in you and your leadership.
Practice a new move
Next time you see your perfectionism in action (caught ya!), see if you can make a new move …
Instead of polishing the sentence (again), can you just let it be?
Instead of re-rehearsing your presentation, can you tell yourself you’re ready (and really trust that)?
Instead of asking to see their work, can you have them take it across the finish line themselves?
Instead of focusing on any minor imperfections in the work you or others did, can you appreciate what went well (and what it took to get there)?
What new move will you make?
Repeat
Unlearning perfectionism takes repeated and consistent practice. With each repetition, you are creating a new groove in your inner-wiring, and over time you’ll build a new habit that leads to more trust, learning, and better performance in your organization.
If you’d like to join a community of rising nonprofit leaders who are committed to working in ways that create impact and build trust and power with others, join the waitlist for our Group Coaching Program that launches this summer! – you’ll be the first to hear more about the program and will get special bonuses not offered to the public.
